“we did it,” i say, trying to muster some amount of enthusiasm. cyrus, confused, looks up at me and pauses the movie we were watching. i flash him my phone screen — an angry text from james. “my ex is pissed. i guess he saw our posts then.”

cyrus nods, his expression unreadable. the only emotion i can decipher from him is discomfort from his fingers anxiously drumming on the plush sofa. “what does this mean then? for… for us?”

i meet his gaze, icy blue eyes boring into mine. “it means… thank you, for doing this. i know it was a time commitment and we had to pretend to like each other and lie to everyone’s faces”—cyrus laughs dryly—“but i’m glad we did it. i got a friend out of it and now james is pissed.”

he gives me a faint smile and nods toward my phone. his voice is low when he speaks.“do you think he’s going to want to get back together with you?” he pauses. “do you want him back?”

the answer and the guilt that comes with it has been at the forefront of my brain for three months — yes, i want james back. that was entirely why i recruited my best friends brother to fake date me and make james jealous. but… the longer i thought about it, the more i started to question myself. did i really want james back or was i moving on?

i soon realized it was the latter.

it’s been hard, tamping down the rising tide of feelings for cyrus. especially when we had to fake kiss in front of our families — and nya, who still thinks we’re dating — at the joint fourth of july party. the brutal reality is he doesn’t like me, and he never has. i’m his younger sisters annoying best friend — the equivalent of nothing to him.

i swallow, remembering that he’s waiting for an answer. i give him a half truth. “i don’t know.”

he looks down at his fingers — which are still tapping on the couch. they stop, and he swallows, pulling back to lean on the navy cushions. his dark hair is in his eyes and he pushes it back somewhat nervously before looking directly at me.

“was it all just pretend to you?” he whispers, gaze unwavering. does he…? there’s no way.

even if he does, it can’t happen. he’s nya’s brother, and even though everyone already thinks we’re dating, it would be so much worse if we actually were. i can’t let myself give in to this.

“it was all pretend, cyrus. we were faking, remember?” as soon as the words are out of my mouth, i hate myself when i see the heartbreak in his eyes and realize it was real to him.

“yeah. we were just faking,” he says quietly, surrendering to what’s right. he unpauses the movie and almost imperceptibly scoots away from me. i hold my breath, bracing myself for the awkwardness that has begun to ensue.

just as i’m about to stand up and leave, coming up with some shitty excuse, cyrus grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him, pressing my mouth to his. the surprise in me melts away as he tangles his fingers in my hair and opens his mouth underneath mine.

it is everything i’ve ever dreamed and no matter how much i know i should i cannot stop. he knows exactly what he’s doing, and it shows. he removes one hand from my hair and traces it up and down my arm before bringing it to the side of his head. he pulls me closer, closer than close, and leads me to the wall until my back is against it.

he lets his lips linger on mine for a second more before gently kissing their way to my ear. his body his hot against mine, and i hope he doesn’t notice the flush on my cheeks.

“it wasn’t just pretend to me, anna. every moment you looked at me, i knew i was falling for you. every time your lips touched mine, i tried to convince myself it was real, that you wanted me as much as i wanted you. it’s been a blessing just as much as torture these months, being so close to you but never close enough.” his breath hitches as he pulls back and looks in my eyes. “and you know what i learned? falling feels like flying until the moment you land. i’m not just falling anymore, anna. i’m in love with you. even if you don’t feel the same way, you had to know. i had to tell you.”

it’s quiet, save for our heavy breathing. i swallow, tracing a finger over his face. “cyrus, you know. you’ve known it since the first time i was playing with nya and you walked in and shook my hand. you’ve known it since our first kiss under the fireworks at the fourth of july party. i love you, cyrus. i was just too scared to say it until now.”

he smiles, his icy eyes on my lips. “please don’t go back to that dickhead. you’re too good for him. you need a real man.”

that brings a laugh out of me. “oh, what, like you? please,” i say, but he brings an arm up over my head to brace himself on the wall, muscles flexing. he looks down at me, his height making me feel tiny and brings his free hand around me to my lower back.

“liar,” he says, lifting me up against the wall and encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. he brings both hands to my hips and pulls me as close to him as he can before brushing light, feathery kisses across my mouth.

i smile at the touch, and realize i’m no longer falling for cyrus. i’ve landed. and im home.