Síofra’s Loss

I am missing an arm. It sounds so careless. I didn't set it down and lose it like some treasured thing that I didn't look after. No it was stolen from me. The Cata took it right at the elbow. But I got even. I took it back.

I don't miss my arm. I'm sure everyone who is missing a hand or a leg or anything would say that. In my case it is true. It happened so long ago that I have grown accustomed to it. I once saw a fox in a field. It was short a front leg. It looked up at me and for a moment there was a pause, then it slipped back into the shadows as quiet as it came. It was so agile and swift that you would hardly think that it was missing anything.

There are disadvatages. Balance. Sometimes I move differently to keep my balance. And there is something bad about relying on the left. Some people look down on me because almost everything I do I do with my left arm. God create bath so I don't understand that thought. It makes so sense why my right would be good and my left would be bad. It's just an arm. But people are hard. They believe strange things at times.

I don't tell people that my arm is always there. That might scare them. I feel it. It is as if it was never stolen from me. It points. I guides me. Sometimes I forget that I am around others and I need to stop for a second before I reach for things. I need to remember to use tha hand that is seen intstead of that is not. But it can reach out and feel as if it was there. And in really challenging times it is there. Sometimes, when it is dark but the moon is out, I can even see it. I can feel her light traveling across its surface, a cold sensation that brings a glow of its own warmth.

So don't judge me. Don't feel sorry for me. Many years ago, as a child, I painfully and brutally lost a part of me to a thoughtless beast looking for dinner. But I survived and I'm stronger now. And that part of me has never fully left me.

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