She was trying to save me.

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April 30, 2015

Journal Entry #97

I’ve been patiently waiting to get out of this fucking prison. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t get a moments peace unless I’m writing. But no one believes me. My lawyer barely believes me. I keep reviewing that day over and over in my head.

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We were hiking off trail. It had just stopped raining and Megan loved the smell of the woods after fresh rain. We wanted to go to our favorite spot, it was our little secret. Off our normal hiking trail, about 2 miles closer to the edge of the woods, there is flat bed of rock overseeing a vast meadow and more dense pine. It’s a truly serene sight. She brought me here when we first started dating. Megan loved to meditate in nature, it made her feel like she was apart of something bigger than herself. I loved that about her. I’ll always love that about her.

But that hike felt different. I thought it was just the air of the bosque around us, since we never go hiking after rain, but today that trek was stale and tense. Megan remained quiet the whole time. I didn’t think much of that since she loves listening to birds chirp, but it was definitely a little out of the ordinary. When we got the the cliff, I was so mesmerized by the landscape, that I didn’t notice what Megan was doing. She slowly inched closer to the edge without saying a word. It wasn’t until too late when I realized she was just a step away from jumping.

“Edmund,” she said in a soft, calm voice, “I’m doing this because I love you.”

One step.

I charged forward to grab her and shockingly felt her hand in my clutch. She looked at me, so scared but so determined that this was the right thing to do. Tears filled both of our eyes.

“Please...” was all I could whisper.

She fought me so hard to try and make me let go. Her last words still rattle my brain. Her final gaze was so haunting as she said the words:

“It would have killed you too.”

Then I lost her. My hand was grievously empty. The drop was so great in depth that I didn’t see or hear the landing.

When the police came to our apartment, I sat there motionless, just waiting for them to chop it up as suicide and then leave me the fuck alone.

But her note was what changed it all.

“Hello, my name is Megan Hiller. If you are reading this, then you have found my dead body in an empty meadow at Green Valley National Park. I have been killed by my boyfriend Edmund Gurren who has been planning my murder for months. He has taken me to a remote location during a hike and forced me off a cliff that has lead to my death. Here is a compilation of evidence and pictures of him plotting this event.”

The next thing I heard was, “Edmund Gurren. You are under arrest for the suspicion of murder...”

I blacked out after that.

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There was too much evidence stacked up against me. The jury had no choice and I don’t blame them. I was so angry for so long. But now, I don’t blame her. All because of her final words, “It would have killed you too.”

What is “it”? Who is “it”? Why would “it” have killed me too? This is what I mean when I say I can’t get a moments peace. A million questions are constantly cycling through my brain. My lawyer is coming today to discuss more about the case. But I don’t know how much more my brain can take.

May 1, 2015

Journal Entry #98

They found something in the apartment. Something Megan hid in the wall. I don’t know why it took them over 3 fucking months to find this but my lawyer said that behind the wall of Megan’s mediation and yoga room, there is a shrine. In the pictures he showed me, it looked like an alter surrounded by black and red candles with a picture of a demon. On the picture, was a pentagram marked in blood with a few scorched bits on the rim. Did she summon something?

“It would have killed you too.”

Something was after her. Something was after both of us.

She was...trying to save me...