I thought I heard the wedding bells, thought I’d heard the choir sing

Didn’t know those sounds were from hell, begging for just a fling

You told me you wanted me then left me for dead, how should I believe I word that you said?

Somehow I always end up alone in my bed

They mean what they said that old habits die screaming, I died screaming

The texture of your words superglue chills to my spine, but I apologize then lie and say I’m fine

I would give you my wild, my bluest days, give you a child, never looking away. I watch you watch everyone but me, thinking of who could be to blame but me

Can never throw out the fear that those dreams are for kids, the daydreamer in me forced to hide her imagination in boxes with lids, this childlike love affair becoming something I’d reconsider for counterbids

I creep through the house that once was our love, burning the ground from my steps above I am reminded of the way my breath caught when I asked the questions I knew the answers for already, knowing I’d be burned in the end, hoping this film would not end the way it was going to - just pretend.

I step outside watching the house burn. When tolerate turns to hate, I reconvene in my brain to remember why I accepted toleration where in I deserved celebration.

I take inspiration from movies and books, stealing moments and secret looks. I will stay true to believe that my fairy tale does exist, deservedly so. That not everyone is just waiting to let me go. If they are - let the record show, all that will let me do is grow.

In the ashes, a spark remains lit. I think, what wit, for something so illicit.