STORY STARTER
Write a few entries of a captain’s log that is found washed up on the shore.
What kind of story can you reveal through this form of narrative?
STORY STARTER
Write a few entries of a captain’s log that is found washed up on the shore.
What kind of story can you reveal through this form of narrative?
I really like the horror/mystery vibe, and I think the suspense builds up really well as the story goes on. I’d probably do something at the beginning to better separate dismissing Mark as delusional from when the captain first saw something. Right now it kind of feels like the captain sent Mark to his quarters while knowing that Mark was right (which I know isn’t what it says), and that could be cool if it was part of some sort of desperate attempt at denial, but as is just kind of feels contradictory or hypocritical. I’d maybe split them into separate days, with the first one being before the captain knows something is up, or I’d just emphasize a little more that the captain’s sighting was AFTER the confrontation with Mark, if you want to keep the cool “I didn’t want to believe it” opening. Day 24 also sounded like the captain was the one getting mad, but that seems like more of a proofreading thing.
I’m a little confused as to what type of ship it is, with multiple freezers and all, and the engine room has more rooms inside?
But another thing I do like is how light on details the captain’s words are in a natural way. It means we have less context, but we don’t really need to know much about Paz or Duran or where they’re going, because the captain already knows those things and it wouldn’t make sense for them to explain it in their personal log. We still get the info we really need, and it makes it feel more authentic. I hope some of this helps!
This got better as the story went on! I could definitely see this turning into a story about someone finding this notebook and setting out to find it, or rather them. Great!