It was a day like any other. I got up nice and early, got some breakfast, fed the kids, warmed up my voice, sang a couple songs, and sat out on my perch watching the morning go by.

It had to be just before the midpoint of the day - judging by the light and the movement of the clouds - when I decided to go off for a little flight. The wings needed a stretch, and the kids would need lunch soon, so I leapt from my perch, spread my wings and flew off southward a spell.

I was nice and high up, enjoying the view. We birds really do have the best views. That was when I saw it. It came floating down from behind the clouds. Nearly knocked me out of the sky! One of the idiot animals that only uses two legs came tumbling out of the clouds! What the f*%! was it doing up here?! They’re only supposed to be down there! Who let it up here??

It was wearing some stupid looking covering that I just wanted to tear up to refit my nest. I was so angry at it for cutting me off I wanted to peck out it’s eyes, but they were encased in something.

It had the audacity to wave at me. It waved at me!! Can you believe that? Like this was a casual thing for this two legged thing to be up in my space. Then it continued towards the ground with the giant red cloud it was hanging from.

I shit on these beings. I shit on them because they’re (literally) below me and too stupid to know they’re beneath me. That’s the way the world is supposed to be: that two legged thing is meant to be below me so that I can poop on it and it can feed me seeds. They’re not supposed to be coming at me from behind the clouds!

Is this about to become a common thing? Have they somehow developed flight? I hope not. I truly, truly hope not - I’ve seen what they do down there and I am Not impressed. It’s a mess, and they can keep it. I don’t want them up here in the sky, this belongs to us birds and the clouds, we don’t need anyone else up here.

When I got back to the nest, I tried to tell the kids what happened and they looked at me like I was off my head. But I swear, it happened.