JACK

I didn’t expect it to ever go this out of hand.

I had a plan, a plan that went into shambles because—I don’t even have someone to blame!

I have to control my emotions; I have to give them all a peace of mind. I used to only have to deal with three, but now there’s three more. What’s three more, right?

“Okay, okay.” I run a hand through my hair, keeping my eyes on the road while the other hand turns the steering wheel to the left. “Okay. I’m fine. This is fine.”

I am Jack Holt, and I am not a loser.

I do not quit.

I am not weak.

And I am in control.

---

HOLLAND

When’s the last time I’ve ever been this scared in my life. It would have been before I met Thomas, maybe when I was still misjudged by my family. Whatever the case, my stress is high, higher than it usually is.

Thankfully, it’s dark so no one sees the pain on my face. The people who would care are sleeping, anyway. Adon is facing my stomach and Thomas is facing my back with his arms coming over Adon and me. The women—Aubrey, Tresure, and Penny—are huddled in their corner of the van.

Penny is rocking herself, farthest away from Thomas and me as she can get. The blanket, not the only one as the only other is covering me and the men, is wrapped around her and straighted by Aubrey when it begins to fall off.

Treasure and Aubrey seem to know each other, and speak in soft tones as they hold each other’s hands. I can hear: “Is it really you?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to you?”

“You did, Aubrey. It was always you.”

That’s all I can bring myself to hear. I may be insane in some parts, but I know when conversations are meant to be private. Instead, I look at the front of the van to where Jack is driving. The sight I see before me is not pleasing. His shoulders are tensed, his body rigid. I know for myself that Jack hates when things fly out of control.

He can’t control unpredictability. It makes him remember that he’s only human. A small little human in a world full of them. An ant among the colony. An ant that can be squashed with the pad of a thumb.

I close my eyes and snuggle closer to Thomas, bring Adon closer to me as the night takes ahold of my thought. I’ll think about it later, in the morning. I’ll think about the gun wound in Aubrey, I’ll think about the police who are rounding up their troops to come and find us.

I’ll try to find a way to live with those I love in the morning.

Nothings easy for the insane—maybe that’s why I’m still here.

We will find help. There are so many of us out here in this world.

Just another beggar telling another beggar where to find bread

Freedom of the world is not real.

Freedom of the mind is exhilarating.

And now we’re on the run.

We can never go back now. Like the road we’re on now, we can only move forward.