Sleep. It must be nice. I haven’t slept in years. Even when the Body is asleep I’m still laser focused. If I’m not, who will be? No one, that’s who! And if no one is plotting the possibilities, then they would all be sorry. They might not even be what they are today. For some, I’ll admit, that could be nice. Wait. That isn’t the point. The point is they need me. I wish I felt needed. Instead I feel shamed, unwanted, as if I’m a problem, as though the others think they’re better than me. Some of them don’t even serve a purpose, but anytime I show up…it’s always the same. First there is a long unsettling silence while the others hold their breath waiting for me the speak. I suffer through the stares and the unseen but suffocating tension in the air for as long as I can. Then I begin, “What if when…” I am immediately smothered with the groans and unfiltered sighs. Why do they wait for my words? Why not just show their discontent when they first see me? It’s cruel. And, yet, deep down they know if I disappeared tomorrow they might not make it to the end of this month. It isn’t just the others. The whole world seems to hate me. The whole world has labeled me a problem, and many deny my very existence. When strangers hear me speak there is usually a false kindness and patronizing tone followed by an empty promise they couldn’t possibly keep even if they had the intention to do so - which they don’t. They’re primary goal is to dismiss me and talk about something that interests them. I find most people to be selfish and unkind. The others tell me I’m wrong, but I know my own experience, and they know their’s. That’s it. I think I will leave. See how they do without me. The Body might night survive. Sure the others will be “free,” but who will be in charge? Trustful? Only if they want end up in someone’s basement or with and STI or worse. Happy? Yeah that will last for about 2 weeks. Then the world will avoid the Body because there will be no sincerity. Depression? She’s a good candidate. There’s no denying that, but the end of that path is a lose-lose for everyone. Daydream? Don’t make me laugh. The Body would lose everything - the house, the car, the world. Anger? Do I even need to explain why Anger can’t be in charge? That really only leaves Vice. Yeah Vice could rule and if she were to partner with Deceit, they might actually survive. Hope the Body likes instability, deep and unforgiving desire for the next hit, and the void that comes when we all leave. Black holes where eyes once were. Manipulation instead of words. Scheming in place of ears. Sustenance traded for a single taste. Lust where once there was love. Then they will all wish I hadn’t left. I’m the glue. I’m the only one who can actually think clearly! I almost for about LOVE. You know why Love can’t rule? Because it’s so goddamn fleeting. If Love ruled, Depression would take over within 6 months guaranteed! That’s if Love avoids partnering with Trustful - that’s a deadly combinations without me. Literally. What if the others could only see what I do for them, then maybe they would accept me? What if the world could welcome me? What if? That’s my specialty. The others are too out of touch to understand me - I’m Anxiety.