People say when somone dies they are in a better place. What place am I in? How can I be in a good place when the person I love is gone forever? I can’t be in a good place when my memories contsantly replay, and the sound of their voice is still here in my head . I act as if they are still here with me, knowing they are not , and will not again. Every single day I cry mourning and grieving my best friend . The tears go from my eyes to my cheeks to the ground making a puddle of sorrow. This continues to morning. I wake up to my pillow damp from tears of sadness . Sometimes I feel like I need to talk to someone about my pain, so some days I act like they are listening to me. But in reality, the only thing listening is myself, hearing all of my echos and emotions from my mind.** And the hallucinations of them are my biggest triggers. **The images from my mind haunt me. I picture them standing in the living room as if they are there and when I run to them and hug them I am hugging no one but air. I’m getting older now and I still can’t stop crying that they are not here anymore. Or that my favourite memory of us is singing our favourite song together . And the time we spent hours on one math question are slowly leaving and their voice is fading away forever. I can’t let go of them, they are the only person I loved and cared about, and also felt the same way about me as well as I did with them. Why can’t I let go of them? Moral of the story, I am not in a good place.