I should’ve stepped back. I should’ve used caution, but I didn’t. Instead, I was so hellbent on this idea of a relationship with him and beginning something with this group of people that I didn’t care about anything else. When I look back, there weren’t any real attractions that I had towards him. What was it about him that made him so special? Nothing, really. We had some similarities but, overall, he really wasn’t special to me. The idea of him and our life together and what we could become was what sold me. Our friend group, our home, our plans; that was what I was infatuated with. Now, I have all of this trauma to work through and I have to start over my life and rebuild myself. It’s exciting, it’s necessary and it’s helping me find myself again. I’ve learned so much from this situation, therefore, I cannot regret it. It has given me so much. I learned what I want and don’t want and how to no longer settle for anyone and to put myself first by disregarding what anyone thinks about my personal life or what I do with my life in general. It’s all about me and what I want and no one controls that but me. I realized my freedom and that I can do anything and that I make my decisions for my life, no one else.

But the best part about falling into the hole is when you are able to climb out all by yourself.