Another boring day at work counting cash, taking checks, swiping cards. It’s all rather dull really. I kind of hate it and I’ve day dreamed about quitting more than once.

I ponder this as I count yet another stack of $1 bills. Some of them have odd stains on them… disgusting.

My gaze wanders to the young woman standing in front of me. Is she a stripper? A waitress? No way to know.

The bills are rough and dry in my hands, I remembered to say “thank you, have a nice day!” As she left. But that’s about it, the rest of the hour goes by in a blur of customer service persona and death inducing boredom.

Then like a crack of thunder everything comes into sharp focus around me as I hear “don’t make a sound, just hand over the money” I look up still foggy from my daze of work time boredom.

The man is masked but so are all the other patrons. Our bank is one of the last businesses in town to enforce the mandate.

He’s wearing sunglasses inside which is odd and a ball cap pressed down low over his eyes.

“Did you hear me?” He asks, his brow scrunched down low and his breath is warm against my face as leans in to close.

My heart begins to beat faster than normal as I realize what’s happening. This is a robbery. A real live robbery, in my bank!

“Thank God” I whisper under my breath, the mans brow furrows further and leans in closer, I can see the glint of a pistol under his coat and a glimpse of sweaty, meaty fingers.

“What did you say?”

“I said, thank God your finally here. I thought it was going to take you all damn day.”

The man leans in even closer trying to catch my hurried words “did Tommy tell you to wear that get up? It’s completely ridiculous.”

Slowly I place my open palms against the counter top as far from the panic button as I can get them. I know how this scene plays out, no one ever hits the panic button without the robber realizing what they did.

I resist the urge to look around me, one of my co-workers would surely notice the sweat dripping down my forehead.

The man stands up straight and expression of confusion plain on his face.

“Gosh damn, he didn’t tell you anything at all did he?”

I ask trying my hardest to keep the bluff out of my voice.

I unceremoniously grab a pen next to my hand and hold it out the man distracted looks at it and that’s my chance to scan the room behind him. There’s no other suspicious characters out there.

Just him.

He’s our only customer.

“Write it down” I whisper. The man stares at me blankly, this is not the reaction he was expecting and it’s evident that he’s not quick on the uptake. “Write down what you want me to tell them”.

I clarify.

The man hesitantly take the pen and scrubbed on a sheet of paper.

His words are completely illegible, I have no idea what he wrote or what he thought I intended him to write.

At this point my only choice is to keep him on his toes and make sure no one realizes what is happening.

I’ve seen enough crime TV to realize that these situations only degrade into madness when people start panicking.

Under no circumstances can I allow that to happen.

People’s lives are literally in my hands.

I turn to my co-worker Pam and say in as steady a voice as I can manage “Bob, here needs his safe deposit box opened but he lost his key.”

The man stares at me with a drone expression.

“I’m going to take him into the back room and see if I can’t help him with the paperwork to get a new one.”

Pam nods absently she’s in the midst of unlocking her computer, poor Pam forgets her password every day.

I wink at the man and gesture for him to follow me. Miraculously he does as soon as we’re behind closed doors I turn to him with a furious expression “what the hell? What is wrong with you? Didn’t Tommy explain the plan at all? Your putting us all at risk!”

I continue to rail at the top of my lungs for as long as I can.

The man seems to shrink into the wall behind him as I talk.

The poor guy has no idea what’s happening.

“God, just wait here, I’ll go get the cash. This is going to be so hard to explain to everyone! I’ve got no clue how we are going to cover this up!”

I March out of the room, slam the door shut and lock it behind me.

It’s only then that I breath a sigh of relief as I pick up my phone and dial 911.

I can feel a promotion in my future.