I grab my sister’s hand, and pull her to the cliffs edge with me. She nods slowly in my direction. Then we jump. Taking in as much air as possible, we fall faster and faster. We are picking up speed as we watch the waves below us, crashing into the shore. The white wave tops fading back into the water, like stars in the night sky.

As we get closer and closer to the thrashing waves below, I start regretting everything leading up to this moment.

I see a blurry vision of Dad’s bloody knuckles from the ground I laid on. Shattered glass lay on the floor like a broken puzzle piece. The neck of the beer bottle stays in my Father’s grasp, while the remaining pieces puncture parts of me that I wouldn’t have ever thought possible. My heart having the worse puncture wound of all. The tears from my eyes fell harder than any weight on my shoulders ever could have.

I grip my sister’s hand tighter, waiting for the hard hit to the water that will knock the wind right out of me.

I hear my dad’s booming voice hitting my head in every direction. My mother’s screams echoing on for forever. My sister’s silence. Her silence being the loudest of all. She sat and watched while I was hit left and right. Dad needed to let his anger out, right? He has always favored the beautiful, smart, and talented twin. Not the one who likes adventure and has an attitude problem.

A numb feeling starts taking over every inch of my body. The feeling that rides through me before each of my panic attacks. Leading to cutting with anything sharp within my reach. Each of those times being stopped by the comfort of my sister, my twin. Lilly. This time is different though. She is by my side as we both plummet into the depths of the ocean.

The water hitting my back as if I was being thrown up against a brick wall. Putting my body into a shocked state. Our clothes absorbing the water like a sponge. Our hands parting like old friends. Resistant, yet inevitable. The image of Lilly fading the deeper into the water I go. Smearing as if it were a painting. The painting conjured by my own imagination. The wish to be with her is stronger than ever, and that’s where I plan on going. By her side just as we always were.

The pounding in my head almost changes my mind, but I refuse to live the life I have been stuck with. Rude friends, ignorant people, horrible parents, a dead sister… She promised me she would never try to harm her self again, but so did I. Now look where we are.

On the verge of passing out, I finally feel the water seep into my lungs. I finally feel free.