“I think it went too far this time” she sighed.

“I’m not sure if it was the screaming, throwing the plate across the kitchen or storming out of the house. Hell maybe it was all of them” she thought to herself.

While she was unsure of what the final straw had been, she did know it was time to pack up her things and get ready to leave. As she slowly climbed the stairs she experienced and all to familiar feeling, overwhelming sadness.

Of course this wasn’t the first time she’d taken things too far, relationship after relationship had ended much the same. A screaming match had killed one dream, a sharp slap across the face had stopped another. They had different causes but they all ended with the same result, a broken home. She proved time and time again that each “I’ll love you forever” promise that initially sounded so sweet would turn out to be a lie and she felt her resentment towards love grow exponentially each time.

Raw emotions poured out of her like water from a broken dam, and she couldn’t control the ensuing flood. Although she truly only wanted to be loved, the constant failures of others had forced her to grow a rough shell around a tender heart. At times she felt that the only person she would ever be able to rely on was herself.

“Maybe I am unloveable, or maybe I’m broken” She thought to herself as she shoved her few belongings into the black trash bag she was all to accustomed to using as luggage. Unable to understand why she did the things she did, she began to weep uncontrollably. Of course she knew that things she did were wrong after the fact, but she couldn’t stop the rage from running out.

The first two times she had ruined a relationship she just knew it wasn’t her fault. “They’re just awful, they lied and never cared about me” she had told herself. But this was the third time in a year this had happened, and she wasn’t so sure anymore.

While she had once thought of herself as bright, funny and full of life. She was realizing that she was dark, bitter and bleak. At that moment she made a promise to herself, “I’m never loving again, if they think I’m bad now I’ll show them”.

Focused on her new goal she drug her belongings across the floor and headed downstairs. She was ready to go on to the next home of “loving” foster parents. Ready to show them just how bad an 11 year old girl could really be.