I see the wings of birds and I imagine someone will love me. I imagine someone will come along and help me face my fears but no ones there. I grip the steering wheel and try to regain agency over my eye sight but dissociation cripples me. I name the colors of the signs I see and place the smells that enter my nose. All I feel here in these moments is a nagging at the back of my neck. One that prickles your spine and reminds you, you’re alone. I take a deep breath. I try to remember what love feels like. I hope that feeling will infiltrate the loneliness but it never does. Stuck wishing for a light at the end of the tunnel that never comes.