January 19, 1990

I was so close. Oh I was so close. I mean, seriously. How hard it is to bake the perfect batch of cookies? Fucking ridiculous. You know, how can anything be perfect anyway, huh? I bet flour can’t even be perfect, so nothing can be perfect! Stupid fucking cookies. And Grammy Tilde won’t accept anything less! But she’s not perfect. If she was, then everyone would like her always, and I don’t like her right now. Anyway, she’s calling for me.

-Josh

January 22, 1990

Hey, it’s been a few days. My brother just flew in from Ireland to visit. I told him about Grandma Tilde’s cookie and he chuckled! He said “Josh, they’re so easy to make.” So easy to make? That’s literally not even possible! I made them perfectly and they still weren’t perfect. He's just the perfect grandson. I'll get it and then they'll praise me for how wonderful the cookies are. How I absolutely nailed it.

-Josh

January 30, 1990

So, I haven’t perfected that recipe. I’ve tried every form of measurement for this recipe but nothing is right for Grandma Tilde. I think I’m missing an ingredient. Maybe she gave me an incomplete recipe? Oh how dare she. I’ll look in her recipe book and find the truth!

-Josh

February 5, 1990

If Grandma Tilde says “Not right” one more time, I’m going to lose it. I’m going to LOSE IT. It’s right, I know it’s right. Everyone else says it’s right. But not her. No…it’s never right for her.

-Josh

February 7, 1990

I did it. She was driving me crazy but I finally did it. I made the cookies, but as she said, the exactly way she said it. BUT! Oh but I added one extra ingredient. I won’t say, this’ll be damning enough.

-Josh

February 9, 1990

It’s done and no one’s happy about it. Why wouldn’t they be? All she does is nag or did was nag. Nag bitch and moan I tell ya. No one suspects a thing. But what if others find out? I should make an escape plan. Yeah, or get rid of everyone else. I feel their eyes on me, staring and staring. I’ll get rid of those eyes.

-Josh