"Desires" were something _unshaken_, something _unreal._ They were the equivalent of you lying in your bed at nighttime, rethinking everything that went wrong during the day. Desires were the very maggots that feasted on your soul, your dreams, your life, your _love._ Desires weighed you down, made you believe you were nothing but _worthless._ Desires...the thing that I have, swarming around in my mind, one too many for someone like me.

Desires make their way to my mind, crushing me, making me believe that nothing is, _in fact, _real. They were merely an illusion made for me to _forget_ about life. They were not real. Desires were fake, something created by God to make us believe that we were--_are_ happy. Desires are nothing but cracks that tip me over the edge, slowly, making me lose my sanity over something _unreal._

But what's the difference anyways? Why do I try so hard to move against it, try to ground myself? Why do I dislike it? Why do I resist the charm so much, only for me to embrace them at the end of the day? Why do I let myself sink into my mind, allowing myself to get a teeny tiny taste of the so-called dreams? Why do I do this?

Because. I know. Those times are the only times that make me feel alive. Desires, petty as they are, are the only thing keeping my existence intact. The only thing that keeps me standing until the end of the day. The thing that _wills_ me to live, tells me to continue and carry on my with life. Desires, as much as I dislike them, have given me something to _work _for. Sometime to look forward to at the end of the darkness. Think of it as the light at the end of a darkened tunnel. You can't see anything, not even your hands, and all of a sudden, you see a blindingly light that covers every inch of your vision, shrouding you in warm and fuzzy light.

That. _That's desire for me._