The first I thing I have always noticed about her room is the walls. They are painted a soothing shade of lavender. Although she is an adult, there are still a couple of children’s posters on the wall and a photograph of her, as a young child in a fluffy ballerina tutu.

“I love you.” I blurt out, shocking even myself at the sudden honesty. I have spent years lying to her—hiding my true feelings. I was too scared to ruin the friendship we had built.

“I love you too.” She giggles, rolling her eyes slightly at the sentiment.

“I don’t think you understand. I LOVE you. Like love love. Not friendship love…” I trail off, unable to meet her eyes.

“Oh…”

The silence is deafening. After a few seconds, my ears start ringing and they burn too. I’m positive my face is flushed pink from embarrassment. How could I be so stupid?!

“I just—you’re a great friend. I don’t want to ruin what we have.” She whispers, also unable to make eye contact with me. “I don’t feel that way about you.”

“Uh, haha, yeah of course you don’t! I was just wondering how you would react. I wasn’t being serious…” I stumble over my words, hoping my half-hearted explanation is enough—praying she cannot hear the disappointment in my tone. “Never mind. I need to go. My parents are expecting me for dinner.”

“Oh, alright. Have a nice night, then.” She responds. I reckon her face might be redder than mine.

“Yeah yeah, talk to you later.” I hastily stand and swing my bag over my shoulder. “Bye.”

As I exit her home and begin biking the path leading to mine—I cannot help but think that nothing between us will ever be the same again. I know that it won’t, actually. Our relationship will never ever feel how it used to feel.

I don’t believe I have ever regretted telling someone something more than I do right now.

Because the movies lie. Confessing your love to another will not lead to some magical adventure and a loving relationship. There were no fireworks or birds crowing with delight.

There was only silence…