I bowed my head as I sat down on the wooden bench of this beautiful church. Empty, it was the perfect place to find silence. I sat thinking about god, who was God to me? What was religion to me? I was so unsure it frustrated me immensely. I had a sinking feeling in my gut whenever this thought came up in my mind. I hated it. It was the precise feeling that prevented me from thinking about God at all! Yet… here I was. Pondering.

The light shun through the colourful glass windows reflecting a lighter shade and shadow onto the ground. In all my years, I never thought to look at the stained glass with more intent. I never gave the effort to try and understand it. How strange it was now I finally saw it. I started from the left side, assuming I’d read them as though reading a book (in English I guess or more precisely not in Arabic).

A birth. Simple enough really. However, scanning slowly across the stained glass I noticed something bizarre. After scenes of a young boy being pushed to the ground, the stained glass showed a boy in school. When was Jesus, or any saint in a school with a TV!? I squinted, assuming that I’d seen wrong but I hadn’t! Slowly I started to realise… this was my life! My first girlfriend in college. Studying at University and posing with a cigarette whilst holding my certificate. Even the car accident I had when I was twenty three, I’m lucky I even survived that! Surely this was no coincidence.

I needed answers.

I got up from the bench and wandered around the big crowded space occupying the church. There were no doors leading to anywhere but outside and no one was around.

“What kind of…” I muttered to myself.