Desert Walk
I‘ve been stuck in this desert since ages. Wandering around with no direction in mind. My water resources are slowly being drained. I‘m left with my thoughts with only the afternoon sun.
The more I walk the more I feel how my thoughts turn into poison for myself. They make me feel worthless. The voices started to tune in. Screaming and begging me to give up. Has it always been so noisy inside my head? Did the sun fry my brain so it turned into this mess of racing thoughts and screaming voices?
Suddenly a sandstorm starts appearing in the distance. Turning and twisting mercilessly towards me. Finally my mind goes blank. The poison of my thoughts numbed me with help of the upcoming danger. I‘m looking into the sky in hopes of finding something. I don’t even know what. I‘m just looking for something to save me.
As the storm reaches me I feel calm. I accepted my fate. Nobody can survive this much longer. Not even I can. While I‘m speaking my final prayers I realize that the storm picked me up and started to carry me somewhere. But due to the lack of water i can see my vision getting blurry and then fainting.
As i wake up my first thought is: God however saved me didn’t know it was a waste anyway. I‘m far past saving. The joy i used to bring and get is long gone. I‘m still haunted by my past actions. I‘m still running away from karma. But only god knows who the faster runner is. Only karma knows what tricks she hides. But will i be faster than my past and karma? Or will i drown in the waves of my past?