Part of me wishes i fought harder. Part of me wishes i let go sooner. It's the conflict within the depths of this soul in which inhabits me, that feeds gasoline to her fire; a raging flame of desire that can only be tamed with the snowfall of...pink?

Yes i said pink. I know what you're thinking, "what the fuck is she talking about." Let me explain.

For so long, this desire for beauty, peace, elegance, and love, lived within my walls; clawing at every texture, begging to be taken seriously. And it was; for a short while. But enough inner turmoil raged within, and it had finally begun to break the dam that held back such an evil from escaping. And so, once the storm commenced, and the wreckage was apparent, there was a certain love, or lack there of, that surfaced.

This, hatred towards humanity and self became overwhelming. So naturally, there was no fucking pink in sight. Every single grueling day was pitch black no matter how bright our sun shone. The love and joy i once felt, had been ripped out of the seams and shattered, along with the trust that had been so long gone.

Part of me wishes i fought harder. Fought harder to patch my dam; fought harder to keep my love on her throne. Part of me wishes i never let go of my love for all things elegant, beautiful, and pink. Because maybe if i never let go of that love, it wouldn't have taken me so long to learn how to give it again.