Some of us left toys there, on our stacked cots, for the next kids. Part of me wishes Ebony is played with and cared for by another. A bigger part of me hopes there are no more kids to come through, that no one has to cradle Ebony in place of their friends, their family.

Not like I have.

Not as some of the kids were taken in the middle of the night. Not as I waited for them to come back. They never did. And neither did my parents.

Someone told me they lived about now, in the clouds, that they would look down upon me and smile. I told them mamma hated heights and papa would drive for days if it meant she didn’t have to board a plane. I told them they wouldn’t be smiling at me now.

But they’re the only thing I can smile about anymore. I used to think because mamma hated heights I did too. But right now I wish for nothing more than to be a bird. To fly out of the barred windows and take everyone with me, Ebony too. Because I would make sure no one would ever need her again.

And then when I was finished and the screams that haunt my nightmares could finally wisp away on the wind I would fly up and up.

I would see my parents in the clouds again.

And maybe I would see Sophie

And Emily

And Jake

And Molly

And Chase

And Rosie

And Charlie

And Patrick

And all the other missing kids who I didn’t know the names of

Maybe I would find them in the clouds and set them free.