Every day seems the same for Rob Schneider. Living his life as a multi-millionaire actor and comedian. Until one day… Rob Schneider wakes up and realises… he’s turned into a lamp. And he’s gonna find out, being a lamp is not all it’s cracked up to be!

Rob: “Ha, I’ve got a bright idea!”

“Oh, baby! You really know how to turn me on!”

Rob Schneider stars in… Being A Lamp.

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Every day seems the same for Jack Black. Judging fat people as unlikeable and comparing them to Narwhals. Until one day he gets hypnotised and Jack Black sees everyone as a Narwhal. Eventually he falls in love and has premarital sex with a stunningly beautiful Narwhal before being un-hypnotised and realising it was just a fat bird.

Jack: “Damn, you’re a horny creature ain’t yah?”

Narwhal: “Glerrggggaaahh”

Jack Black stars in… Shallow Hole

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Every day seems the same for Liam Neeson. Until one day, a bunch of evil dudes steal his precious Budgerigar. Liam proceeds to kill and molest half of Northern Ireland because he hates Protestants and thieves.

“I will find ye, and I will fuck ye… Then kill ye! Ye orange bastards!”

Liam Neeson stars in… Mistaken.

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Every day seems the same for Vin Diesel… until one day, he moves to the UK and is forced to buy a Ford KA and follow the rules of the road. Vin takes up a new role as a plasterer and dating Chantelle who he met on Tinder.

Vin: “Hey babe. We should go see the new Rob Schneider movie!”

Chantelle: “What, the one where he turns into a lamp? You must be having a laugh mate! All those films are shite!”

Vin Diesel stars in… The Furiously Slow.

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Every day seems the same for Benedict Cumberbatch, living life as a successful and well talented actor. Until one day Brumbledick Chamberlain decides to take up voice acting and narration, landing a gig on arctic birds. Turns out, for Beanerduct Cumpybum, it’s not as easy as it sounds…

Bendertick: “Look at these pengims… Perguns… pungims… peeguins, of for fuck sake…”

Beaniebaby Clusterfuck stars in… South Pacific.

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Every day seems the same for Rob Schneider, living the good life. Until one day, he turns into one of Chantelle’s tampons. And he’s gonna find out, being a tampon, is not all it’s cracked up to be!

Rob: “Hey, is she dating Vin Diesel? I didn’t know he owned an Irish Budgie!”

Rob Schneider stars in… Derp Der Der

Fuck

I mean Fin