They were all gone. All of them, just like that. The dinner table had been full of food and friends alike, laughing and talking as we ate and were grateful. Christmas had always been my favorite time of the year, even with the cold and pain it brought me. It always carries an extra bit of love in the air to warm each and every one of us. Perhaps that’s just God though.

I had asked for someone to pass the apple juice, parched from all the stuffing I had downed. And Apple is one of the bests. They laughed and played around, acting as if they might drop it, but as they picked it up...that was it. The pitcher fell and shattered on the table, and while it should have sprayed people, it just wet chairs. They weren’t here. Why?

I struggle to pull myself back to the present. A remembering will only waste time, they’ve been gone so long, they aren’t coming back.

When they first disappeared, my friends, family, relatives, all of them, I searched high and low. I reported it to the police, put up signs, looked online, went to shelters, spoke to priests, even tried to track their phones. Nothing, nada, they were gone. And when I woke from that haze I found it had been three year and I had to move on.

Maybe they had planned it. Maybe they were all leaving and leaving...leaving me behind. They may laugh in their new world or whatever, but I won’t be shedding another tear.

I stare out over the lush landscape, the green fields and deep jungles with racing rivers and singing birds. Most would call this paradise, most would dream for the life I’ve lived. But while it sounds cool, it wasn’t fun. I didn’t want it.

Looking back, all I really want is to be back at that table.