To England! My brain screamed with excitement. Ever since I was a child I had always wanted to go to England, and it was finally happening! I boarded the plane, large smile on my face. I waited patiently to board in the back of the plane, for home your dream is coming true you can do nothing but smile. I sat down first in my row, so of course I choose the best seat. The aisle. I wait patiently for the people I would be spending the next ten hours with. The first to sit down next to me in the window seat, was a kind looking woman on a business trip. She wore an extravagant pink suit with a high ponytail and I immediately knew this was gonna be an amazing seating partner. She smiled, and waved, and then got to work on her laptop. We waited. And waited. And waited. The last person to sit down in our little isle was, certainly a character. He had a clean shaven face, a wild look in his brown eyes, like he had been here for far too long, a mullet with bits of food sprinkled through it, and a concerning smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and body spray that had been expired since 2001. The woman in the pink suit gave me a look that said, “We’re in this together, Good luck, and this guy is gonna be the most annoying, terrible, seat mate ever.” I gave her a look back that said, “Welp, which us luck for the next 10 hours.”

The man sat down right in between both of us, popped his wet stinky bag on my lap, took off his 25 year old shoes, adding stinky feet to his aroma, took his bag back from my lap, and put his arms on both armrests, smiling a toothless smile reeking of dead fish. He had a sense of superiority around him for the whole flight that said, “I’m better than you. I’m wayyyy better than you.” Once we had taken off and he had gotten all situated, he pulled out his phone, and started talking as loud as he possibly could with his doctor about his recent….problems with his…..hindquarters. After he was done sharing that whole ordeal with the entire plane, he flashed me another toothless smile, and pulled out the stinkiest meal ever, and ate it with such gusto, adding to the collection of food in his mullet. Coughing and sneezing on the food the entire time.

We had put up with this for 5 hours now, it was mid flight, so the flight attendants came around with drink offers. I took water, and once they had reached this man’s order, he asked for beer. They denied his request, because they had given their last glass to the people in front of us. He was so angry at this that he stood, reached over the seat in front of him, took their beer, finished it in one gulp, and threw the cup at the flight attendant. After that whole ordeal happened, he put his bare feet on the head of the seat in front of us, and continued this behavior through the whole flight. Annoying the attendants whenever he could, and doing everything annoying.

I was very happy to be off of that flight.