STORY STARTER
Write a story or poem from the voice of someone who is jealous.
STORY STARTER
Write a story or poem from the voice of someone who is jealous.
This is a strong start to a story, with clear emotions and an inciting incident. By focusing on your sister's new engagement ring, you've created a good visual representation to portray the pang of envy that comes with it.
However, given the lack of context about these sisters' relationship, background, or the narrator's own life, it is hard to understand why such jealousy is being felt. It is effective to have the reader question this themself, but without any hints or conclusions the reader is left feeling disconnected from the main character.
Additionally, you might try adding deeper characterization of the sister to elicit greater understanding and empathy from the reader. For example, by briefly describing how the sister is likely feeling in this moment, you could bring a greater level of complexity to the story
The ending is strong and ties the story together nicely. With some extra details and stronger characterization this story could captivate a reader!
I love how you started the story with such detail. It shows how jealousy can lead us down a terrible path. The structure is brilliant, and the house change from the beginning to the end. Great job!