What is life without a purpose? And if you haven’t contributed towards society does that not make you eligible for afterlife?

I question this while my mother’s words swirl at the back of my mind; “You’ll make us proud one day Jules.”

Mr. Creswell’s infamous quote echoed ; “you don’t want to grow up to serve greasy chips at the back of the counter, drive a bus for old phoneys or clean up somebody else’s shit.”

That is the underlying cruelty of expectations. They are designed to push you, not suffocate you.

I gazed at my fast-food employee badge, and became consumed by disappointment. I heard a voice muffled in the rain.

I winded up the window to see a middle-aged guy in business attire. He was cloaked in darkness, but his Rolex watch shimmered like buried treasure.

“Two cokes, large fries and a cheeseburger.” His gaze never left his dashboard.

I went along with my business and heard him tut. His humming picked up, like the ticking of an clock. His ignorant utterances were like the cogs and gears grinding in my head. I was ready to pop.

But no, I didn’t rise to it. I never have done.

I hand over his food and my frustration was only kept under wraps by the tightness of my smile.

“Have a nice-“

Before I finished, my words were lost by the loud rippling screams from his exhaust. I choked on the engine smoke before I could wind down the window. Then I was struck down with the blunt edge of managers tongue.

“Wind up the damn window. We don’t want our fries cooking in the pollution today do we?”

Of course she was rhetorical. Every question she ever raised was rhetorical.

I cycled back home later that night. I dumped my wet clothes onto the bedroom floor. I wasn’t sure if they were wet from the rain or the tears I cried.

My phone pinged. It was Amy.

“Hi Jules. The funeral was, as expected, sad. But I had your words keep me afloat throughout the service. I would like thank you for that. Just like your name, you are a real jewel-“

My tears turned warm.

“I don’t how else to put it, but your my guardian angel. Without you, I would be nothing. I would sink deep into depression and end up as a slave to my own demons.”

I squeezed the edge of my sweatshirt. The tears fell, but this time, more like confetti.

“I know you think your anxiety holds you back from your dreams and you may never earn top bucks. But remember, you have kindness, empathy and your smile is worth a million dollars. That makes you the fortunate one.”

It was at that moment I found my purpose.

I stood up and wiped away my tears.

I drifted to sleep that night in the harmonising tranquility of Amy’s words echoing. I fell into my dreams while holding that million dollar smile.