"You just never stop talking, do you?!”

Raelyn felt tears well in her eyes and the harsh sting of her knight’s words; the fact that there wasn’t even a hint of remorse in her teal yet yellowed hues made Raelyn’s heart twinge. Ren knew that Raelyn couldn’t help her rambling, it was a quirk of hers that she’d always had. Kiernan had always listened intently, so did Ren, and that cured most of the queen’s insecurity; but all of that meant nothing anymore.

Raelyn also couldn’t help the fact that she brought up Kiernan’s demise more than the average person would bring up the ones they’ve lost; she didn’t understand why, but until she let it out, a feeling of dread and of complete despair would settle in her stomach and torment her head relentlessly. It made her nauseous, and the event would pop up in her head at the slightest reminder of him; a familiar scent, a specific word, a color, anything could trigger a whirlwind of thoughts in her mind that she never wanted to think. She thought Ren was someone she could talk to about it, but apparently, it only annoyed her.

Ailia was awoken by the intense volume of Ren’s rant, but pretended to still be asleep, listening as Raelyn’s heart broke further. She met eyes with Beira, a few feet to her left, who was looking more and more worried the more that Ren rambled.

“I’m sorry–” Raelyn muttered.

“You’re always sorry, but you never actually do anything to change, right?! That’s why your parents are dead! That’s why Kiernan’s dead, that’s why Maeralya’s dead, that’s why I died!” Raelyn gasped softly, backing away as Ren leaned forward in fury. Never once had Raelyn found herself in a state of genuine fear of her beloved knight, until that very moment. “You should’ve just let me die, like you did everyone else.”

Raelyn floundered right where she stood, mouth slightly gaped as she searched for something, anything to say in response to the person she thought she once knew. But the sting of her words was starting to set in, and the venom was beginning to taint her very soul. She nodded once, briefly, before turning around and swiftly stepping out of the building whilst stifling a choked sob.

“Raelyn!” Ailia called out softly, her heart breaking at the desolate wails of a girl who’s heart was shattering for the umpteenth time. “Ren, what’s the matter with you?!” She snapped, whipping her head towards the knight. “Why would you say something like that to her?!”

Ren remained silent, her anger having worn off as she started to realize what she had done and said, eyes wide.

“Yeah, seriously, what’s going on with you?! We know you’ve been through a lot, and you’re probably not feeling well, but Raelyn is the one that organized all of this just to revive you! Just to finally be able to save someone! She has worked non-stop for days without rest, and this is how you repay her?!” Beira scoffed, arms crossed as she shook her head. “Unbelievable. I thought you were better than that.”

“I-I didn’t mean–” Ren began, desperation in her weak voice.

“It doesn’t matter what you meant. You still said what you said, and vile words like those have consequences!” Ailia retorted, hands on her hips as she scolded the younger. “I’m going after her. Beira, stay here, I don’t think Raelyn’ll be comfortable if too many of us are there.” She glared at Ren as she passed through the doorway, running after the royal.

When Ailia finally found her friend, she was kneeling in the mud and holding her late husband’s pendant close to her chest. Her free hand was entangled in her hair, sobs wracking the entirety of her form.

“Raelyn?” Ailia winced slightly at the sight of Raelyn tensing. “It’s just me, no one else… I heard what happened.”

“I-I don’t understand,” Raelyn shuddered, as Ailia took a seat next to her. “W-Why would she say something like that to me…?”

“I don’t know, Raelyn, I wish I could tell you for sure. But I know she didn’t mean it.”

Raelyn mumbled, so much so that Ailia couldn’t understand a word she said.

“What was that?”

“I said, yes she did. She meant it. She’s been wanting to say that for a long time now, I-I just know.”

“How? How do you know that?”

“She’s never said it, but I know that she asks herself everyday: ‘How could someone be so useless?’”

“Raelyn, no, don’t think like that–”

“It’s the truth!” Raelyn shouted, Ailia jumping in surprise at the sight of her blood-shot eyes.

“No, it isn’t.”

“You weren’t there, Ailia… You didn’t see what happened when my husband died.” She began, grimacing painfully. “I saw him coming– his demise– and I didn’t do a thing to even try and stop it,” she let out a heart wrenching cry, before continuing weakly. “I looked him in the eye as he died, and do you want to know what I saw?”

“What did you see?” Ailia asked.

“Betrayal.”

“Raelyn, I’m sure he didn’t blame you. From what I’ve heard, he sounds like—”

“Ailia, I know what I saw,” she wailed, “I couldn’t look away.” The two women went silent, with only the sound of Raelyn’s desperate sobs accompanying them on the cold and dismal night. Rain started to drizzle from the sky, only making the moment ten times worse. The rainfall soon became heavier, until it was more of a downpour than a normal rain.

“Come on,” Ailia urged the girl, her soaked red hair sticking to her skin as she rubbed the younger’s back.

“Just leave me.”

“No, you’ll get sick Rae, c’mon.”

“I hope I do get sick. I hope I get so sick I die, just like my mother.”

“Hey, woah!” Ailia exclaimed gently. “Don’t you ever say that again, alright?”

“Why not? I just mess everything up,” She sniffled, her nose and eyes completely red. “Kiernan was my everything, and I’ve been trying so hard, but I don’t think I can keep going. I just want the pain to stop, I-I want the constant reminders to quit haunting me,”

“I know you do, but you can keep going, Raelyn. Don’t you want to save your kingdom? And save all of those innocent people trapped there? And, Elida’s here now, you have her, don’t you? And you have me, of course.”

“I guess.”

“Raelyn, I don’t think you realize this just yet, but everyone inside right now? We care about you very, very much.” Ailia smiled, “We don’t want you to die. We want to see what amazing things you’ll accomplish next. So you need to live— for us. And Raelyn?” Raelyn met her gaze, “I don’t want to lose anyone else. Just like you.”