You say you'll come but then you don't

You said you'd be back but it's been five years now

Did you forget? No, I don't want to hear its too hard to come back, you just don't want to deal with the mess you left behind, that hurts dosen't it? Not wanting to see your siblings grow up. But I guess the things you're doing out there are more important. And don't try to put the blame on somebody else, and don't say you'll come back. Because I won't be here when you do. Don't say you love me those words don't have any meaning to me anymore. Your are still my hero, even though you lost your mind. But you know all the tears and anxiety won't bring the old you back, it's not that I like the new you it's just the old you cared about family, the new you just wants to hide from everything that reminds you of your past. Right? That was how it is for me but how could you forget someone you loved more than yourself? You can't it's like a funeral even though you never died the sorrow is just that heavy. All my thoughts go to you even if I don't want them to, and what about the fun times we had? You probably don't remember that. I don't want to carry this pain anymore this sorrow, so I'm ending this now I love you but I need to move on with my life it's been five years of me being in your shadow but I can't think about you 24/7 when I go into the military I'm sorry it came to this but I want to protect you but if you move outside the country and war happens ill only spare your life once.