“You can’t do this! You can’t leave me. I love you, please.” He begged.

I looked up the ceiling and took a deep breath to prevent myself from crying. I love him, but I have no choice. I couldn’t bear to tell him what was going on with me. Stage 4, Lymphoma. There was no hope for me. My chemo worked at first, but over time I just got weaker. I made my parents promise me that after everything, they will not cry for my funeral, because it’s the one thing I do not want to see when I breathed my last. I also made them not share a single thing to Andrew, so that when I break up with him, it will be less painful than to watch me get buried. And obviously I made a letter for him, my parents, and to each person who made an impact in my life.

“We all gather here to celebrate Claire Westwood’s life. She left each and every one of us a memory that we will cherish forever. She truly will be missed by all her family and friends.” The pastor preached.

As I witnessed my own body get buried, I was glad that my parents did not shed a single tear, or it would be impossible for me to cross the after life. Although I sensed that they were trying so hard to keep it to themselves. I looked to my left, and there he was, my Andrew. I regretted seeing him like that, shattered. I knew he never got the chance to read the letter, otherwise, he would have been okay, and less broken.

“My dear Andrew,

By the time you read this letter, I may have gotten weaker, or worse, dead. HAHA~

Before I pass on, I want to know that you’ll be okay without me. I had to break up with you rather than finding out that I am about to die, because you know, it’s less painful. Please know that it was against my will to do so, but I didn’t want you to feel obligated that you had to take care of me, and to see me weak and fragile. However, please do check up on my parents from time to time because you know i’m their only child.

I am also giving you full permission to move on and find a new one that will love you, after you grieve. But just know I will haunt her down if she hurts you physically, mentally or emotionally. I hope you find happiness beyond me my love.

If you somehow managed to finish this letter without crying, it means for my last goodbye.

I will always love you,

Clary”