The pillow feels hot.

It seems to be smirking beneath my cheek, as if plotting to drain all the moisture from my face.

I sweep my right leg over the other. The rest of my body follows closely behind to forcibly land in my second most reliable sleeping position.

I want to just go to bed. But I can’t stop thinking.

How could she just take it?

You can’t just take toys from people you’re supposed to love. They just do it whenever they want to get back at me for nothing! They think I’m dumb but I’m not. I’m smart!

All they care about are grades and getting what they want and being evil while having evil thoughts and evil attitudes while hatching evil plans with this stupid bed to make me so sweaty and uncomfy all the time!

Enough!

I don’t care anymore. Last time, I said the next time would be the last time. Well this is the next time, and now I have to make it the last!

Everything feels blurry. Even my thoughts. But my action is precise. I go to my dresser with a spirited arm swing but silent feet. Perfect execution. Packing my favorite shirts and pants and socks and undies. Just as I reach the window behind my bed I am struck with a moment of loss.

My shoes.

They are downstairs. There is no way I could get them without waking up the family.

It’s too late now. I have to go.

I gingerly stutter the window open and then quickly work to the screen which is alarmingly squeaky.

Placing my bare foot on the window sill I hoist my body up and out of that square to freedom.

Freedom from the tyrants. Freedom from oppressive regimes. Yeah I’m smart. I know a lot of words that they don’t even know. Freedom from a place where toys are always on loan. Freedom from stupid love that they stupid pretend.

I lick a couple streams of salt water from the side of my face.

Where should I go?

I swing down to my hands so that my feet dangle towards the ground.

I may have misjudged the height…

But they’re evil.

I drop.