Actual TW. Idek anymore. I feel sick.

I prayed.

I actually fucking prayed.

I sat with God, or the universe.

Anyone who would listen.

And prayed.

Even when I was younger Seven in a holy white dress I would never ask for anything in my prayers I would just sit with God

So I sat with them today Told them to feel what I'm feeling Just for a second

The desire to amputate my arms The ants on my spine The ice through my heart The bugs in my ears The thoughts in my mind

The blood on my hands. In my hands.

Can you feel it too?

I asked. Your sins outnumber mine.

Can you feel the weight of it?

Can you smell the metallic sting?

The leaches calling?

Do you feel as dirty as I?

_As impure? _ Do you see the lives lost for your throne? Because I see the lives lost For the things I own Remenants of skin and bone Tucked away in my iPhone From kids and 'workers' In lands far away

Distance does not make them any less human

And knowledge or a lack of Doesn't make me less of a killer

God, why would you put a corpse in my phone?