My office looked bigger now that it was empty. Sitting in the chair I found myself reminiscing on events that led to this predicament.

“Why would you preach on that?” The senior pastor sighed in exasperation. “You must’ve known they wouldn’t respond positively to that.”

“Am I not supposed to preach Biblical truth? Feel free to go over the recording, I avoided saying any specific phrases that I knew would trigger people. The fact that I handled the topic alone and this was still the response, shouldn’t that speak volumes? If anything, this reaction proves that sermon was needed.” I replied, appalled at the fact that this was even an issue.

“It’s a touchy subject, and you know where the majority of our congregation stands on this. Maybe the young people stand with you, and as the youth pastor I can see you having these conversations with them, but not the main service.” The senior pastor sighed before continuing. “That’s why I’m pulling you from the pulpit.”

I shook my head, bringing me back to present day. How could standing up for an entire group of people be wrong? It wasn’t! God is love, and God is just, and He calls His people to be the same. That’s why I had to make a stand against racial injustice from a Biblical, loving perspective. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only circumstance that led me here.

“Why are you still making YouTube videos? Why aren’t you planning things in person yet?” Asked the senior pastor.

“Because we still have a following and young people, both in and out of our church are engaging with the content. I don’t see the channel fading away even post-pandemic.” I explained. “As for your second question, I’ve had some conversations with volunteers, families, young adults, etc., but we don’t have a solid enough group ready and willing to meet in person yet. We can’t plan events with no volunteers for an audience who won’t show up.”

Leaning back in his chair, the senior pastor eyed me warily, which I interpreted as distrust towards my response.

“Would you need as much volunteer help if you had more time?” He finally asked.

“I suppose so.” I answered honestly, yet cautious to overcommit myself. “I’m not sure where that time would come from though.”

“What about the YouTube videos? Surely they take quite a bit of time to prepare, film, and edit.” He suggested.

“True, hesitancy plain in my voice, “but like I said we’re still meeting a need there. I don’t think it’d be wise to cut back our online presence yet.”

“But you would have more time to focus on reopening events in person?” The senior pastor counted.

This was my boss, but the channel was accomplishing the purpose of my job. What was I supposed to do?

“Yes,” not bothering to hide my cautious tone, “but like I said, people are still more comfortable online than in person. I understand needing to make the transition at some point, but cases are still rising right now.”

Fading back to present, as the conversation began going in circles from that point on. Keeping the trend of working chronologically backwards in what led me here, my mind wandered yet again.

“Did you know?” I asked.

“I knew where she stood on the matter, but-“

“Then you should’ve enforced it.” I interrupted, a dangerous thing to do to your boss, but I had no choice.

“She didn’t see the value in the paperwork you required.” The senior pastor explained.

“The ‘paperwork’ was consent forms. We took minors on an overnight trip out of state, if something had gone wrong, we could’ve been in a lawsuit. There were also consent to treat forms in there, without parents signing that, we couldn’t put a bandaid on a scraped knee.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous-“

“No I’m not, it was my job on the line, not to mention the kids’ safety.”

Turns out it was my job on the line, I just got the timing wrong. Standing, about to walk away for the last time, my mind thought of the last conversation that led me here.

“So, you’re saying I can either walk now, or stay under conditions where I have no chance at doing ministry?” I asked.

“That’s not what I said.”

“It’s what I heard.” I stated. “Consider this my two weeks notice then. If this isn’t the place to stand for what’s right, I’ll step down.”

- Based on my situation