Do you feel alone…

‘Cause I do…

Have you ever felt that you have been deprived of all love from people and rejected and bullied by others…

Thats what I feel

Man. If only someone knew how I feel…

I feel so…I don’t know…

One thing that is comforting that keeps me going is the distractions I have like school, reading, writing, listening to music and others thins that will make me happy for a little while but doesn’t last.

If only I could talk to someone that actually genuinely knew how I feel and felt… right… Jesus.

But we can’t have a direct conversation. If only…

I don’t know…

I wish I was back in Canada, to be with all of my friends and family and live in peace and be able to enjoy my life but I have lived here for four years and it does not feel like home and I feel like if I moved back to Canada it would still not feel like home. I don’t feel like I have a home anywhere…

My friends here do not feel like friends. Even though I might spend time with them, I dont want to get too close to them just in case I lose them… again. It is too late for that for one my friends, he has already left and we don’t talk as much anymore. Another one lost. And I am hurt in my heart. I will lose another of my friends too. This is why I didn’t want to get too close to people here. I am not getting closer to anyone else. I am trying so HARD to be happy but the sadness and depression always comes back…

Then there is one of the reasons for my depression it is because someone bullied me because of my physicality. He bullied me everyday saying that I was so short. He reminded me of everything bad about myself and for some_ reason_ I still helped him with work or other things. I kept smiling and yet every word he said engraved itself in my brain. It took its toll on me and caused a lot of my depression and I do not feel comfortable in my own skin because of him. I hated my body cause of him but I don’t blame him for pointing out the obvious; I was small and weak. **_But not anymore. I am no longer small. I will not be weak ever again. I will prove everyone wrong. I will prove him wrong…_**

I miss James… A lot.

And Sophie..

Uhh…

😞😔

(This was a narrative that I wrote two years ago and I just tweaked it, to match the present😌😔.)

Sorry.