I yawned, stretched, and tried to shake the cobwebs out of my head. What did I do last night? How much did I drink?

The it hit me. The the last thing I ever expected when I woke up. Literally hit me, a cats tail! I don’t have a cat!! This was was larger than most, very fluffy, with one golden eye. I reached out to pet it, and it glared at me with the same disappoint my third grade teacher did when I failed the spelling bee.

“I supposed you will do,” I heard in my head. “Whaaaa....” I stuttered. I never knew cats could sigh, but this one did, and pounced off the bed, and out of the room. I followed, still dressed from whatever I had done last night. It hit me then, I was hung over, and trusting a very fluffy cat to not lead me to my doom. Must be Thursday.

In my kitchen, a portal was opened. “Oh, that is new,” I commented. “Yes,” thought the cat. “By Bast you humans are dumb. Follow me through the portal.”

“Why?”

“You are needed for a grand adventure.”

“Can I have coffee first?”

The cat twitched its tail in dignified annoyance. “Fine. I shall have some tuna.”

“We are out of tuna,” I said, as I started to make coffee. “We do have salmon paste.”

The cat’s eye gleamed. “Acceptable.” I set the food on the ground, and the cat devoured it.

“So, what’s your name?” If I am going on a grand adventure with a large telepathic fluffy cat, I should be on a first name basis, right?

“You couldn’t pronounce it,” The cat thought, rather rudely I might add.

“Can I call you Fluffy?” I inquired.

The cat looked at me, the golden eye shone cold. I never felt more judged in my life, not even when I failed the audition for my elementary schools production of “Sweeney Todd.”

I didn’t make out what the cat thought next, I just knew it was profanity beyond what any human language invented. The cap leapt through the portal, which closed behind.

I sipped my coffee, and set out more salmon by the wall where the portal was, just in case.