I don’t know what to do. I keep trying to convince myself that the feelings will go away…but they won’t. A connection that started off so pure and innocent, feels like a locked case. A fever dream that feels so far away.

I sometimes feel ashamed knowing what my feelings could bring. But God—it’s a feeling I never felt before. The way my body has a mind of its own anytime I’m around him. It’s that jump of intense passion that takes you over like a wave. I smile more than usual around him. Smile so much that’d you think I just got married. When I’m with him, I feel a state of comfort. Like no matter what happens, I’ll be safe with him by my side. There’s times where I wish we could talk forever. Times where I wish we were on an endless clock. So much wishing, yet it feels wrong. There’s this heavy feeling in my chest that worsens any time I think of it.

We’ve built a foundation of trust and innocence, and I can’t let my feelings get in the way.

There’s times where I so badly just want to pour my heart out…but I can’t.

I have to live with the simple fact that my friendship is on a lose wire, and it’s only so long before it snaps.

That feeling when you have so much love for someone, that you feel yourself slowly ripping apart. It’s a feeling of eagerness, but also fear.

Fear that the connection I once known would vanish—all because of a flame that I couldn’t let out

I burn for him…so much that it hurts.

This feeling eats away at me around the clock, and I can’t bare it.

It’s like I’m fighting between hell and earth—and hell is winning.

When I look into his eyes—I see my future.

But I understand that’s merely a unforeseen possibility.