I am trapped in a circus

And I can’t get out.

I am dancing to a tune

I can no longer hear

And the music is terrible

And it hurts so badly

And yet I cannot stop.

I blink,

And the crowd is laughing,

I blink again

And the crowd is gone. 

I look up

And there is only darkness

I look back

And all the light has faded. 

There is a ring

Around me

A ring

Or a stage

And on the other side

There are people

Who do not

Or cannot

Care.

Now

I am on 

A merry-go-round

A toy

Of the circus

And it spins

So quickly.

The world

Starts to blur

A days and B days

Mix together

Rehearsals

And homework

And dreams

Are inseparable

And I’m spinning so quickly.

But now the spinning fades,

And in its place

Is a dangerous stillness

And I am back in the ring

But the crowd is not laughing

And I cannot tell

If I’m crying

Or dancing. 

And look; 

The crowd fades away

The witnesses leave

And cool metal

Tightens 

Around my wrists

And neck.

I cannot move

But I need to stand. 

I cannot breathe

But death is impossible. 

I cannot break free

For there is so much to do.

It grows so dark,

When the tent

Is quiet.

The silence is deafening

In a circus

Without patrons

And the performers

Are monsters

Which is why

We are chained. 

But another day dawns,

And the chains fade away:

I cannot run

With audience waiting

Strings tug

At my mouth

Until I am smiling

My mind

Grows numb

And the audience

As one being

Is awed.

The circus is spinning

Faster

And faster

All fades away

Into blurry routines

Are we people

Or are we machines

White fangs

On red lips

Deadly claws

Caress your neck

Welcome

O stranger

To the circus

Of my dreams.