I hate you,

The way you spit the words “bitch” and “worthless” in my face,

I hate you,

I hate when you blame me for all that went wrong with us

I hate you,

The way you betray my trust and love,

The way you throw things -

With such force and anger that my whole body flinches

I hate you,

I hate you,

I hate me,

I hate me,

The way I laugh when someone asks about it-

The way I lie about each bruise and bump,

The way I do this to myself.

I hate me -

The way I beg you to stay,

The way I believe that this is love,

This is what I deserve

I love you,

I love you,

I hate me,

I love you,

For the times when you proclaim I’m your “soulmate”,

The inside jokes that we share in secret,

The way when you want to be you make me feel beautiful.

I hate me,

For thinking you’ll change,

For not seeing the patterns,

For screaming to be heard by you

I love me,

I love me,

I hate me,

I love me,

For finally having the courage to say -

I love me enough not to stay,

I love me enough to stand on my own,

I hate me,

For thinking that this would be easy,

For breaking my spirit to stay loyal to you,

For shattering my heart by not protecting myself enough.

I hate you, but please stay.