when i imagine life without your influence i feel a drop in my stomach that is gripping and dreadful. where would i be now if not for you for all the many things you’ve told me, shown me, done with me, which helped me grow into who i am at this moment?

throughout my life you have been a place of warmth and solace when i had none. your quiet sureness has always provided me strength when i need it, and your embrace is so plush, so secure, that a simple hug is enough to draw tears from my eyes, every time.

i do not know how to explain the person you’ve been in my life. sister or mother is not enough. you are home.

the thought of anything bad ever befalling you twists and beats at my insides until i feel anger, and must shake it away. in that case i cannot imagine what i would feel-i do not want to. the explosiveness of heartbreak and the suffocating gray of having lost the rock of your life. i love you more than anyone. life without you is not worth living to me.