Unlike some of my neighbours, this was my first time in a police station. I have to admit to being a bit nervous sitting here - who wouldn’t be? These pokey little interview rooms are just as intimidating as they look on TV.

I was delighted to be asked to help the police with their enquiries. Well, I’d been banging on at them to do something for months. The first few times I called I was given the brush off, but finally an officer came to the door to take a statement. Nothing happened of course, and I might as well have been talking to myself.

Seemingly my Facebook post was the “final straw” and had galvanised them into taking action which is why they have called me in to help.

Ever since that business at work last year, I’ve been struggling to fill my days at home. It’s nice to be needed again and have something useful to contribute.

The younger of the two policemen is actually a policewoman, but I’m told “police officer” is what they prefer now. She leans forward and smiles at me, but it’s not a sincere smile. More of a self-satisfied grin.

“ Why don’t tell us about the relationship between you and your neighbours, ” she says and leans back in her chair with her arms folded.

“ Well, I’ve tried to do that on numerous occasions but nobody seems to want to hear.”

Even though I’m offended at her silly smirk and raised eyebrow, I can’t help feeling pleased that at long last somebody wants to listen and take my side.

I go through the whole story and it feels good to let the police know what a menace these people have become to our community. I list the numerous ways they have refused to fit in and I go into great detail about the efforts I’ve made to keep the peace.

“ It’s intimidation, Mrs Clark,” she says. “Breach of the peace, criminal damage and possibly common assault.”

“ At last!” I say and let out a huge sigh of relief. “ You don't know how long I’ve waited to hear somebody say that!”

I’ve watched enough Vera’s to know this is the bit where they should ask me if I want to go ahead and press charges, but they both just sit staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable…like I’m the criminal here!