I have your husband you must pay up £10,000 or I’ll blow him up.

I don’t do well with threats, but I must confess your letter has offered me a sense of bliss. Though short and snappy it’s told me all I need to know. I’d happily consent to letting my husband go for I’d rather part with him than my hard earned cash of which he leeches from my stash. So adiu to him and thank you to you for you’ve done me a service.

We’ve received your letter and you can have him back, no man is worth all that. We don’t want the hassle so he is yours to keep and do with him what you will, may you be blessed and find it in yourself to kill. He is worthless to us, he’s only kicked up a fuss, in fact we’ll pay you to take him out of our hands.

I’ll accept your money, but you can keep my husband. These are my demands.