Jason’s brother, Paul, had been missing for a few days now. A few days of worrying. A few days of fear. A few days of planning. He has been complaining that someone was following him. I told him it was probably one of your ex-hobo girlfriends. His brother enjoyed the promiscuous life. As long as it had a pulse, he was game. Unfortunately, his life style may of caught up to him. Jason didn’t know what his brother was into but he came up with a plan to try to find him.

The police were all but useless. Their plan was to sit and wait. My plan was a little more interactive. Last night, I had texted my brother:

“Bro, I got that stuff from the thing in the thing. I’ll get it to you tonight at the raceway.”

It was a wise guy text. It didn’t really mention anything and was pretty generic. But if someone had Paul, they had his phone and if I was lucky, whoever had him would be a bit curious about what I had.

So there I sat in the raceway. In a silly disguise. I was dressed up as some red neck hillbilly that was into the race. I wore a trucker hat, a blonde curley wig, and tight Levi jeans. The icing in the cake for my look was a green sleeveless shirt with skulls and the text that read ‘hillbilly nation.’

I also had two squirt guns. One with whiskey and one with pepper spray. I was locked and loaded.

I scanned the seats and looked for anyone or anything out of place. Whoever had Paul was probably in the crowd looking for me.

After about an hour, two guys in leather jackets were walking around scanning the crowd. Bingo. These guys were definitely out of place and stuck out like a sore thumb. I hopped off the bench and made my way towards them. I followed them from a distance. At one point, they started walking towards me. I turned towards the race and pretended I was watching. They came into spitting distance. As the race cars blew past us, their engines roared. I screamed in happiness and sprayed the whiskey into my mouth. An attractive female walked up to me and wanted a spritz. I serviced her and screamed in enjoyment. I should of got an Oscar for my performance.

One of the me. picked up his phone and shook his head. He hung up his phone and they started walking out of the raceway. I raced to my car and turned it on. I saw them enter into a black SUV. They left the raceway parking lot. I followed them from a distance. I followed them for about an hour until we arrived to a commercial manufacturing building. They arrived at a garage and it opened and they entered.

Very suspicious. I got out of my car and walked towards the garage. I sneaked around the building and peered into the windows. Nothing. Finally I found a latter and climbed it. I sneaked across the roof and peered into a skylight. There in front of the SUV was my brother Paul. Beaten and tortured and strapped to a chair. The two men were circling my brother yelling something. One had a knife out.

Shit. I was going to have to do something and quick.

I assessed the situation. I had two toy squirt guns and a hillbilly disguise. I had an idea. I sneaked over to a door and opened it. I creeped down the stairs and could hear Paul screaming. Hang in there little brother. I walked in the garage. I saw the electrical box across the room. I had to turn it off somehow. But I would be in the open if walked up to him. So I pointed my squirt gun at the breaker box and started squirting. I sprayed the you gun like a machine gun. The breaker box sparked and the lights went out. I went into search and destroy mode. I walked quietly around the garage. A flash light came on. I saw a man. I squirted him. He turned and screamed from the pepper spray. The next man came out with his flash light. He got squirted too. He also started screaming. I ran over to my brother and pulled off his gag.

“Time to get out of here” I said.

“Who the fuck are you hillbilly?” He asked.