To Corinth, Sister of the Elect, Daughter of the Almighty:

I regret that this is the first letter from my desk in months, please excuse the absence of veneration. Time has been elusive as we enter into a season of Twelvetide and you understand the extensive pageantry involved with its execution. Alas, I do no write in regards to this event, but to address some troubling rumors that have boiled up from your sector of the

As you have doubtless already received the news from the Sheol, there has been murmurings of Geists who have traversed from the interior of the dark lands and back into our own. Surely, our brother Brother Ulrich has heard these rumors and has tried to address them, in his own way.

I am writing to assuage any anxiety regarding these rumors and to confirm their complete inaccuracy. As you know, this is antithetical to the Almighty’s canon, and thus a heretical viewpoint. Our Geists find their way to Sheol by the guidance of the Almighty and there the rest is both glory and mystery. Simple put, this is truly folk jabber and children’s fireside tales meant to scare and excite. However, we must treat these murmurings with all seriousness. I trust that you will resolve gossipers of this heresy appropriately and with marked resolved.

Please do send correspondence that this letter finds you and that relevant actions will be taken by yourself and the brothers and sisters in your stead. Again, please be assured this gossip is simply that: heretical gossip.

To see you again at Yule,

Brother Calvin

Corinth,

Don’t listen to Calvin. He’s a cunt.

- Zwingli