Hi 👋🏼 —Felt a little something🤔
I can see you didn’t ask for feedback but If I may, suggestion: “He was my absolutely everything” might need quotes (“he was my ‘absolutely everything’”) or perhaps use ‘absolute’.
Personal taste: “my head,” stopped me. It’s not where my head went to when I read it! Because of the app formatting perhaps?
Nevertheless I naturally continued the sentence like so: “get him out of my ‘mind’.” 😂 Maybe (for me) ‘head’ feels harsher than the alliterative ‘my mind’ and the ‘mm’ feels dreamy.
Your final use of “head” seems to work better for me”. Perhaps because of the preceding line: “I can’t stop thinking about him, far above”
For me, there’s a link in there somewhere between ‘above, height and head’🙂
Bereavement: The ‘brokenness’ comes across strongly in the first two lines of the first stanza.
The remaining stanzas mostly feel reflective and appreciative.
I can see the balance that “He was” and “He still” brings to the structure.
Just a thought: If you omitted “still” it may offer consistency with ‘that broken bereft’ state.
“He is my yesterday, my today, and my tomorrow”
I can deduce from everything else that the writer “still…” so context won’t suffer.
You use “still” effectively, in the line that follows.
“sturdy” : word choice 🙌🏼
You hit a home run with this one. Touching base with those emotions sends “shivers through my core”! 🙌🏼👏🏼⭐️
