Emily eyed her mother fixedly as she poured some sugar in her tea. She noticed how unusually fast Mrs Bennett mixed it, spilling a few drops on the table, usually a sign that her mother was uneasy or even angry. But Emily didn’t care. For the first time she didn’t care. The decision was made even if the whole world came down with Joyce Bennett’s rage. ‘Is that really what you want, Emily?’ she said in a low voice, almost hissing, as the tea slowly formed a small pool on the table. ‘Yes, mom. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime. I won’t have another ever again,’ Emily said confidently, never taking her eyes off her mother. Joyce took her tea to her lips and took a couple of slow sips. Emily could see her head spinning with the news and how she was trying to look for arguments to deter her. Only this time she wouldn’t be deterred. ‘New Zealand is so far away… Not sure if you will cope, Emily,’ she finally said. ‘I’m 28, mom. I will more than cope.’ Joyce Bennett’s cheeks blushed. She wasn’t staring back at her daughter and something told Emily it was on purpose. ‘Well… It’s going to be hard for me to be alone too at my age. First your father gone, now you want to leave too…’ Emily smiled internally. There it was. The argument Joyce had always used since her father had died, to make her feel guilty whenever she wanted to do something for herself that implied being away from her mother. At first Emily was sorry for her. Widow for five years, after thirty-three of marriage, the toll had been huge. For some time she had believed it was her obligation to be there for her mom all the time. She had given up hours of being with her friends and enjoying herself. ‘You never have time for me, your mother. But you always find time for your friends,’ Joyce had said. Trapped by guilt, Emily turned down invitation after invitation to go out. After all, had Joyce not given birth to her, changed her nappies and taken care of her as a child? Until the day she realised she wasn’t living… or rather, she was living Joyce’s life, not hers. ‘You are a strong woman, mom. I am sure you will be fine.’ Now Joyce stared back at her, moist eyes and scarlet cheeks. Her lower lip was trembling. But not with sadness. “She will not win over me this time. She will not, no matter what she says,” Emily thought to herself, getting ready for the verbal battle that was about to follow. ‘I’m in my sixties, I’m getting old. What if I suddenly fall sick and can’t even get up in the middle of the night to call for help? I’m going to be here all on my own just because you want to follow that stupid dream of yours. Very selfish of you, Emily, very selfish. After all I have done for you.’ She was trembling even harder when she finished speaking and slowly placed her cup on the table. There was more liquid spread around than what she had drunk. Emily took a deep breath. Guilt was surrounding her like dark, heavy fog, ready to devour her. But not this time. This time the sunshine of her own decision would be stronger than that. Her own light within was finally spreading through each of her cells like an antidote against the poison she had been force-fed. It would prevail. This time her will would prevail. ‘Mom, I’m sure that when you gave me birth that you knew I’d leave the nest one day, didn’t you? Or are you expecting me to pay you for putting me in the world?’ ‘Pay me? How dare you? Wanting you to stay is asking you to pay me?’ ‘Mom, you have no right to demand that I don’t follow my dreams because of you. Did you stay home too taking care of grandma? Didn’t you live your life as you wanted?’ ‘Leave your grandmother out of this!’ Joyce yelled, getting up and walking towards her daughter l For a fleeting moment, Emily thought she was going to be slapped but her mother just stared at her, tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘I must, mom,’ Emily said. ‘If you lived your life the way you wanted as a daughter, the rules shouldn’t change just because you are a mother now. And I’ve been here for you all the time especially since dad passed. Now it’s time for me to go.’ Joyce took her palms to her face and started a frantic sobbing. ‘You hate me, Emily. You just want to run away from me, I know. You are selfish, so selfish and ungrateful.’ ‘Think what you will, mom. I have made up my mind and I’ll be leaving to New Zealand in a month. I have all the right to take up this opportunity.’ She turned her back to her mother and withdrew to her bedroom. Joyce just kept crying. But Emily was immune to her cries now. She closed her eyes and the door behind her and smiled to herself. The foggy guilt was gone. She could see her bright light, the light of taking the lead of her own life. A soft laugh came our of her mouth. She wasn’t rejoicing on her mother’s pain. She was just happy she had made it to be free. And a new life was about to start, far away from Joyce’s suffocating tentacles.