7:00 am and Benjamin’s phone vibrated. Rolling over, he stretched into his warm flannels. As Benjamin opened his eyes, he turned. A six foot eight inch violet hued figure loomed at Benjamin’s bedside.

“Good morning Master and waddya say? How are we this fine sunshiny day?”

Benjamin groaned flinging his forearm over his eyes.

“It wasn’t a dream. Goddamn!” Benjamin howled.

Alarmed Zessl the Djinn shrank back. It wavered into near invisibility.

“Master let’s have some fun. How about a wish for one?”

“God help me. No wishes. Red fish, blue fish I won’t do ish. Didn’t I tell you to quit with the doctor suess act?” Benjamin said.

Tossing his comforter aside, Benjamin stomped into the bathroom. Over the vanity he splashed cold water on his face. Eyes closed, last night’s comedy of horrors flashed before him. He had boxed up the last of Lena’s stuff. For a minimalist she had a lot of crap. Benjamin had been willing to let go but f whatever she wanted just to put a period on this dreadful love sentence. A lamp he had bought for her fell out of the closet whacking his head.

Tarnished metal the antique oil lamp cut his head. One hand on his head, Benjamin had wiped a speck of blood off the gravy boat shaped thingy. His nightmare began.

When pungent gray smoke fumed from the ornate lamp, Benjamin freaked. When an iridescent purple spectre materialized from the smoke and began undulating, Benjamin fainted. Zessl revived him gave him orange juice and za comically large head bandage. Then in iambic pentameter the djinni offered him a singular wish. Benjamin hoped he was concussed.

Benjamin steadfastly refused any wishes. The mystical being cajoled it’s reluctant master for hours. It turns out wishes can be discarded or traded. By the time it broke into freestyle Benjamin had fallen asleep.

“Yo wash yer face cleaner, over that soapy dish, I don’t wanna get meaner, Bens make that wish.”

Benjamin screamed at the djinni in the toilet. It vanished in a puff of smoke and glitter. After his morning routine Benjamin glanced around for his unwanted magical being. Nothing. Relieved he dressed.

“I know your heart’s broken, your diary is tragic, wish for Cupid’s token, why not accept magic?” A forlorn voice rasped from his underwear drawer.

Sighing Benjamin opened his drawer. Zessl’s head floated over his boxers.

“I can’t accept a wish. Yes my life sucks right now and it’s been lousy for a while I admit. But this is my pain. The sum of my choices and craptastic fate. I don’t want any of your mumbled jumbo. Besides I read,” Benjamin said shutting the door.

Benjamin made coffee. In vibrant Hammer pants, Zessl hovered above the sugar cubes with a long face.

“Save the puppy eyes playa. I’ve read Monkey’s Paw, Edgar Allan Poe, and I’ve seen every episode of I Dream of Jeannie, bra. I’m not going in the market for life freaking lessons. Just the other day I read about this siren her promises added up to a watery grave. I wish you would be honest.”

Grabbing his jacket and coffee, Benjamin headed for his front door. Zessl started to argue but then shrugged defeated.

“You’re right my wishes are trickery. Money wishes are inheritanced or settlements of injury, love wishes lead to STDs or misery. I’ve tricked mortals for many a century. Wait what have you done to me! You cursed with honesty.”

Clapping a big purple hand over its mouth, Zessl disappeared in an angry pouf. Benjamin laughed for the first time in weeks.