Thank you. Thank you for ruining my life for two months. Three months. Four months.

W/out you, I never would’ve hit a major depression in my life. W/out you, I wouldn’t be here rn, having had the opportunity to discover a new identity in myself.

W/out you, I would’ve gone down a much different path. I’m not sure I would even be w/ you guys, in the sense that I would be w/ my family & not on vacation exploring a new country w/ my closest friends.

Yes, it was terrible & ended in hell for most of us, but it also changed the lot of us & I think for the better. There were several misunderstandings that I wish had been solved earlier, but we can’t change the past, & quite honestly, we’re almost all back by now.

I never got the chance to formally apologize to you, nor do I think I ever will have the chance, but I wanted to say again that I’m so extremely sorry & regretful of all the pain I unknowingly caused you. I didn’t mean any of it.

W/ you, I thought everything could be perfect, just for a moment. A moment turned to some moments, some moments turned to most moments, & before I knew it, I wanted the impossible: for everything to be perfect & just how I wanted it.

Except- that’s not how life goes. It’s not how it works. Did I realize that? Far too late. I’m very lucky I didn’t lose many friends in the end, but it truly sucks.

On the other hand, had this not happened, I would’ve never realized I liked someone just when I shouldn’t have (ofc, bc the timing’s never right w/ me lol). I wouldn’t have realized (& ignored) the fact that I was biromantic, now panromantic, & wouldn’t have been able to see the version of myself that hadn’t yet seen the world.

& now I’m questioning my sexuality, but that’s okay. That’s my own issue, & that’s a problem only I can figure it out, no matter the time it does or doesn’t take.

So yes, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It ruined my life for a bit, so it’s going to sound bad, but there are both positive & negative things that came from this, extremes & very minimal points on both sides.

You may have ruined my life, but that eventually opened my eyes. So thank you.