I anticipate the sound of breaking glass, as I slam the golden frame down on the desk

The guilt creeps back up into my throat as I stare at the ceiling, willing her haunting eyes to leave my mind and shatter with her picture

I make my mind wander to anything but her, the clock on my desk counting down the time until I finally lay my sight on you again, or the building across the street, ever so romanesque, something I never noticed before you learned to love it.

I have failed endlessly to convince myself that the right decision is to banish you, to finally give my everything to her, a woman with whom I share a love so normal I can’t help but compare to bland

Your anything but normal, a trait that made me fall in love with you, but makes me want to hate you more and more as the never ending consequences are revealed

If you were normal I wouldn’t be drowning in heartbreak as I reluctantly wish you don’t come, as to protect you from the overwhelming feeling of grief I have created about someone not even yet gone

If you were normal I wouldn’t be sitting here hating myself for counting the seconds until I see your familiar face again even when I know it will be the last.

If only I could pray to every god ever thought up, that you could one day be my normal