After that night, each subsequent night was lonelier, colder. The memory haunts me still.

It was one of Zach's extravagant parties, back before he had given up on LA and it's crowd of try-hards and posers. He had this big pool in the back yard, something like you haven't ever seen. Imagine a resort in Tulum, and think bigger. Seriously, this pool had two full-service swim up bars. And people - myself included - were taking advantage of these bars.

Anyway, I was under the impression Kaitie wouldn't be there. And that's because Kaitie told me she wouldn't. She wanted to surprise me. Well, I wouldn't say it deserves the word ironic, but I know no other words to describe how reversed that situation became.

As I was saying, I had a few drinks and the swim up bar and made my way into a hot tub. If you've never drank in a hot tub, what you need to know is that it makes you noticeably more drunk than drinking in a normal situation. Being buzzed when I entered, the thought didn't occur to me that I might want to slow down. So I'm having a few drinks, and this woman across from starts playing footsies with me, and, being the idiot that I am, I reciprocate. I figure what the hell, it's fine, nobody else knows what's going on because of the bubbles. But me and her know, and she's giving me this look with her eyes, bouncing them back and forth from me to the inside of the of Zach's place. She has my libido stirring, and she can physically feel it now with her foot reaching up to my groin under the water.

Her eyes light up, and she gets out of the hot tub, giving me a wink as she walks out, grabbing a towel to dry herself on the way. I wait a minute, then get out to follow her, thinking "Sure nobody here will catch on," being the drunk idiot I am in the moment. I see her waiting around a corner, and she beckons me over and continues walking. This game of cat and mouse continues (though funny enough I'm the one chasing pussy) until we're in an empty room. And we start going at it immediately. Bathing suits off, lights on, on top of the covers - a particularly exposed position. And sure enough, after God knows how long of this going on, Kaitie swings the door open.

She had no words, just tears. They seemed to be instantaneous. I, on the other hand, tried to sputter out some sort of excuse or something, to no effect as she turned away and slammed the door on me.