dissipate

She didn't look up from the cracks in the sidewalk, nor did she turn down her street to go home. Instead, she just kept walking.


This town had nothing for her anymore. Promises of a better tomorrow were but dust in the wind, and all the hopes she had for the home that could've been were a pipe dream. Tessa should've known better than to put all her eggs in one basket, but she couldn't be faulted for having hope. You would think that years of bad luck would've made her a pessimist, but instead the rose colored glasses became blinding. But it ended the same way it always did.


She didn't know what she would've done with a second chance. It all crumbled in front of her, and all Tessa could do was let it slip through her fingers. She didn't have the voice to defend herself, but she had enough self respect to leave. Everyone got what they wanted in the end.


Tessa tried to take some pride in this outcome. She had what the people wished they had. It was jealousy, she tried to tell herself. And in the end, she stayed true to herself. She could have blended in, kept herself safe and given herself a home, but the Tessa that lived in this town would not have been the Tessa that lived in her head.


Maybe she deserved it, and maybe they were right. Maybe her presence did pose such a threat to the townspeople. She tried not to hold too much hatred towards the people that initially welcomed her with open arms, but she couldn't do anything to quench the heat that boiled in her abdomen. She didn't deserve this.


Before she could make it to the edge of the town, a familiar voice called out her name behind her. Her heart sunk. She turned around to face Nathan, the closest friend she made during her time in town, and the man that revealed her identity to the town.


"Hello, Nathan," she said. Desperation stared back at her, but there was nothing he could say to stop her from what she was about to do.


"You have no idea how sorry I am," he said. Tessa believed him. "It was an accident, okay? I was wearing your amulet and someone asked about it. I should've lied, saying that I bought it from outside town or something, but I guess I was just proud to be friends with a witch. And you know how sensitive they are to the occult. Once I said that you made it for me, they started asking questions, and I wasn't convincing enough. You have to believe me,"


Tessa was good enough at sensing auras that she knew that Nathan's expression of regret was genuine, but he wasn't telling her the full story. Nathan saw her as a gemstone, something shiny that he was proud to own for himself. He didn't expect that flaunting this treasure would cause it to vanish. He likely bragged about their friendship to the wrong person, and then word spread. The town wasn't violent enough to burn her at the stake, but Tessa was looking for a home. Having your neighbors avert their gaze as you walk through their neighborhood made you an outsider, regardless of what you may want. When this was a lived reality, Tessa knew it was time to leave.


"I'm sorry, Nathan. You know why this has to happen," she said.


"Am I not enough for you to stay? I don't care what the others think, this town can be just us!" Nathan plead.


Rage boiled from the depths of Tessa's subconscious. "What do you think I am?" she asked him. Tessa thought she liked Nathan, but the nature of their friendship changed as soon as he found out she was a witch. He promised her that he wasn't scared of her. But that's not what Tessa wanted. She wanted to be an equal. But the reality was that she wasn't. Tessa could've easily hexed him, and he would have no way to defend himself. She didn't doubt that Nathan tried to rationalize the situation and attempt to make the friendship work. And Tessa had hope that he could. But Nathan was human, and Tessa was not. They lived different lives and faced the eventual consequence.


"I think you're my friend," he said. "And I made a mistake. I don't know how to fix it."


"You can't, and you have to live with that," Tessa responded. Being so cold to her only friend pained her, but they've passed a point of no return. Nathan was a stranger, and Tessa was an outsider.


A moment passed, and Tessa could sense Nathan's acceptance of the situation. He only lost a friend while he could've lost his home, after all. There was a way for him to recover.


"Okay," he said. "It was nice knowing you, Tessa." he turned around and headed back towards town. Tessa turned and continued onwards.


The land outside this town was a barren wasteland, perfect for the ritual she was about to perform. She brought a small bag with her with the ingredients she needed. She took out her black candle and lit it, taking three deep breaths. With each inhale, she recalled the harsh words of the townspeople and the all acquaintances that suddenly became strangers. With each exhale, she reminded herself of her true identity. She was not one of them.


On a piece of parchment, she wrote her name and folded it into a small square, holding it in her right hand. In the other hand she picked up her mirror, visualizing her reflecting fading like smoke, leaving a peaceful void in its place. She started to speak.


"Into the shadows, I now fade,

Hidden, unseen, my path is laid.

What I release is no longer near,

Vanished, erased, I disappear."


Tessa then brought out her bowl, filling it with a bottle of cleansed water. She submerged the piece of paper, dissolving her intentions along with it. She blew out the black candle, and felt the energy of her old life dissipating with the smoke.


"The old is gone; I step anew,

Hidden in shadow, reborn in truth."


With these final words, she could feel her energy merging with that of her surroundings. Her essence was one with the wind, free of any human emotions she picked up during her time in the town. It was all nothing to her now. All the hate, betrayal, hope, fear, and regret she once held in her chest was but a memory. She was free.

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