A shrill sound echoes throughout my head as my alarm goes off, it drags me out of the dream I’m in, I yawn and open my eyes, and get up. I swing my legs out of the covers and over the bed, hopping down, the feeling of the rough carpet hitting my feet. Ugh, I don’t want to get up yet, but I have to. Well, I might as well wake up Ivy. I think as I pick up my phone to turn off the annoying alarm. I feel a smile spread across my face, as I glance down at the screen, seeing a text from my boyfriend Peter which reads. Good Morning Babe text me when you get up, I quickly type, Good Morning, back as I walk over to my best friend and roommate’s bed.

“Ivy, get up,” I say as I give a light shove against her shoulder. When she doesn’t wake up, I pull up the sound of a trumpet, like one would hear at boot camp, and play it on high.

“Welcome to the land of the living,” I laugh as she darts upright.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, Journey,” she says with a groan. “Couldn’t you have picked a nicer way to wake me up?”

“I could have, but this was so worth it,” I say, smirking. “Your face was priceless.”

“I’m sure it was,” she says with an eye roll. “Shouldn’t we get ready and go to breakfast?”

“Yeah, hurry up, though we need to be there soon,” I say, then head off and get ready for the day..

~

While waiting for the rest of the small group to meet outside the cafeteria, I see Kennedy, Zander, Raymond, and Daniel walking towards me.

“Hey, Journey, do you know where Chad is?” I hear Kennedy ask.

“Yeah, totally,” I say sarcastically with an eye roll, “he is right here in my pocket.”

“Haha, very funny, Journey,” says Ray

“No, I don’t know where he is, Ray,” I say with a small laugh and a smile. As the boys are walking away, my phone starts buzzing, so I pull it out and my smile grows even bigger as I answer it.

“Hey, Peter” I say then ask “How is it going over there?”

“Pretty good!” he replies. I don't get to hear the rest of the sentence because Cam takes my phone and starts fake flirting with my boyfriend.

“Come on, Cam, give it back,” I say giggling. Cam hands it back to me right as the rest of the group gets there, and we all head out to the auditorium for the service.

On the way there, my leader Janet pulls me aside and says, “Hey Journey, me and Carrie want to talk to you during free time.”

“Oh ok, “ I say as we walk into the service. I sit down and think, Did I do something to get in trouble? Why do they want to talk to me?, I push the thoughts to the side. As the worship band starts playing, focusing my attention on worship, the sermon, then small group.

~

“Hey Journey, want to go get some coffee?” I hear from behind me and jump out of shock as I turn around to see Ivelyn walk towards me out of the cafeteria.

“Of course let's go,” I say then tease, “although this is like the fifteen billionth time we have gone.”

We go to Starbucks, and order our drinks. I get a Vanella Caffe Latte, and she gets a Pink Drink, then we head back to the dorms. As we are walking I tell her about how much I’ve been freaking out about Janet saying that she and Carrie want to talk to me.

“Well, I should probably go talk to them,” I say as we walk into the dorms, Ivelyn heads off to our dorm and I knock on my leaders’ door and they open it, ushering me inside. As I sit down I start to twist the silver ring, which is on my right middle finger, back and forth nervously.

“You wanted to see me,” I said quietly.

“I’m not sure how to say this, so I’ll just spit it out,” Janet says “We have seen Peter flirting with another girl, and I am not saying he is cheating or even realizes what he is doing, but you are like a little sister to me and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

My mouth opens and tears start to prick at my eyes. How could he do this? Who is the girl? How long have they been flirting? My thoughts are spiraling, but I try to hold myself together.

“Who is the girl?” I ask, tears slipping down my face. “Do I know her?”

“I’m so sorry Journey,” says Janet, “but it was Sam”

My eyes widened with shock and anger. “W-what?” I say, not wanting to believe that one of my closest friends would do that to me.

“Im sorry Journey,” says Carrie, handing me some tissues. “I wish it wasn’t true…”

“How could s-she do that to me” I say in between sobs. They comfort me and give me advice. I give them each a hug, then run off to my dorm.

where I find Ivelyn drawing. She glances up for a second then darts up.

“Are you ok?” She asks. “What happened”

I break down again, sobbing, and tell her everything that just happened, everything I found out.

“You should call him and see what he has to say,” she tells me, as she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. “I can sit right over here if you want.”

“O-ok,” I say quietly as I click the Facetime button.

“Hey babe, I’m kinda busy right now. Can we call later?” he asks

“I need to talk to you please,” I say quietly, so he lets his host family know that he needs to take this call.

“What's up?” he asks, and I can tell he is just a little nervous and confused.

“I heard something but I want to hear your side,” I say, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

“Ok” he sounds confused and unsure where this is headed.

“I was told that you and Sam were caught flirting in the church parking lot” My voice breaking despite my trying to keep it together.

“Who told you that?” He asks, anger seeping into his voice. “Was it the leaders?”

“Yes, and they told me that they told you what it looked like” I say quietly but with a little anger then ask “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well it isn’t like i’m the only guy you’re ever gonna date.” he snaps defensively

while trying to keep myself together, I tell him that I need to go and hang up while thinking I thought you were.

~

I walk into small group, which is after the evening service, and see Emmerson, Alice, Cam and Jenny are already there. Ivelyn and I settle down into a couple open chairs, as the rest of our group walks in, including our leaders, Kevin, Janet, Jeff, and Carrie.

I notice that Scarlett isn’t here and lean over to Ivelyn and whisper, “Hey Ivy do you know where Scarlett is?”

“I don’t know,” replies Ivelyn.

Later during the group, our church youth pastor, Victor, brings in Scarlett, who tells us about how she just got some news from home that would change everything. So we all get up and pray for her. Then everyone heads out to our dorms, and I decide to write a letter about what I have learned. Letting myself cry, I send the pen across the paper in clean, swift strokes.

Dear me,

I can’t believe all of this has happened, like why can’t I just be able to be happy without something like this happening. I open my heart and look at what happened. I will forever have learned to be careful with my heart, Since I only have one. I will not let someone do this to me again and I will be ready to take on the curveballs life throws at me. I never know when they will come or just how much I can become because of them. If Scarlett can work through the grief and struggle that she is going through then I can. I can lean on my people like Ivy and I will eventually be fine.

With love,

younger you